F Embassy

There is this certain Embassy at Cluny Park Road which my friends and I simply cannot stand. Yet, every year I have to pay them a visit to beg for SCHENGEN Visa. This year is no exception... The worst is, I am not even going to that country. I am going to another country in the Mediterranean which does not have an Embassy here in Singapore. And like how Lily has so aptly asked, "Of all Embassies, why do they have to collaborate with F Embassy?"

Sitting behind the bullet-proof glass wall, their favourite phrase the moment they look at your documents would be: I would have to send you home. I swear this is said with a smirk hidden behind those expressionless faces. It seems like at the end of the day, the one who sends more people home wins the game! During my pilgrimage visit last year, I witnessed a desperate housewife who was probably there for the 3rd time and was still not getting it right for her Visa Application Documents.

You didn't make copy of your Application form? ----> Home you go, come back tomorrow
Background of your photograph is not white? ----> Home you go, come back tomorrow
No employer's letter? ----> Home you go, come back tomorrow
No bank's statement? ----> Home you go, come back tomorrow
You didn't make copy of every stamped pages of your passport? ----> Home you go, come back tomorrow
Not enough money to pay for the Visa fee? ----> Home you go, come back tomorrow
No evidence of your hotel reservation in F? ----> Home you go, come back tomorrow
You are staying in another country 1 day more than you are staying in F? ----> Home you go, come back when you have the Visa of that other country
And the list goes on.........

To welcome you, one will be greeted by an indifferent Security Guard (again, same face year on year). He seems to have forgotten how to smile I think! Upon surrendering your Identity Card, you would then be allowed to enter the building that is flanked with menacing sky-high concrete wall.

Actually the Visa department is only manned by 2 persons. The same 2 persons year after year (I visit them every year remember?) Let's call them B & W for easy reference. From their body language and icy glares, it doesn't take a genius to tell that B & W hate each other. Yet they are forced to sit shoulder to shoulder every day every hour every minute. B seems to be more senior in terms of number of years he has been working in the Embassy but W seems to be more senior in terms of designation. When you pass your Application to W, he will ask you to pass it to B. When you ask B a question, he would signal you to check with W. I believe final decision still lies with W.

During my visit last year, I asked W, if I call the Embassy, who should I say I want to speak to? W said: "Over here, there are only 2 of us. It's either him (motioning to B) or me".

Our recent encounter was simply unforgettable. It involved Li, Bur and I. Bur and I were secretly gloating that once our Singapore Citizenship has been approved, we would never have to ever visit this place again. No, maybe we would visit them one last time to show them our bio-sensor spanking new Singapore passport!

We were the only applicants there. Our Visitor passes shows No 2, 3 and 4. There was only 1 other applicant before us! It was already 11.45am, 15 minutes before their closing time.

Li was first. She went to the B. She seems to have a pleasant history with B. After all, Li's sister married a French. I think the 2 sisters are spotted in the Embassy quite often. B could even memorize the full name of Li's sister.

B looked at her Application and said....
B: I have to
send you home
Li: Huh? How come?
B: Because
the background of your photograph is red. It is supposed to be white.

But of course Li came prepared. She fished out an envelope of photos of various backgrounds and sizes. B took his time to choose the photo of his choice.

W was looking at Bur's application.

B: where is your address in Santorini?
Us: Address? But we are only making a day trip there. We are not staying overnight
in Santorini. We spend our night in the cruise.

B: So you cruise would have to dock there, right? Then give us the office address.
Us: Office? We book with Star Cruise. Can we give you their address in Singapore?
B: No, if they dock there, they would have office there. And we want the address.

So we called Star Cruise. They only have representative office in UK and Australia.

B: I am sure they have to work with an agency in Santorini?
Otherwise they won't be able to dock.

And we called Star Cruise again. They had to check with their International Sales Office. Everyone sat there waiting.

B: So what are we waiting for?

Us: errr... we are waiting for Star Cruise to call us back. B & W busied themselves with their work in the mean time.

After what seemed like forever, Star Cruise finally called back with their Santorini's contact. I scribbled down the details and later passed it to B. As usual, he had to check with W, who was on an endless phonecall at that moment.

Bur approached B and said: Can we have back that piece of paper with the
Santorini's contact? We will write it nicely for you on another piece of paper.
B looked at us with a smug and said: We can read

**Faint**

Finally W was off the phone. He concluded that we would need a letter from the Santorini's agent to confirm that they are the official agent for Star Cruise in Greece and they are aware that we would be travelling to Santorini on that particular date.

Us: So we have to come back again?
W: Yes, you have to come back with the letter. We cannot process without the letter.
B: No need to be 3 of you. Just one person will do.

(At this point, 3 of us has to flash our most pathetic miserable look...)

W: Why, you cannot take leave?

Us: Ya... It is very hard to take
leave like this to go to the Embassy. Could you just take the Applications first
and we would follow up all the supporting documents through fax.

W rolled his eye and finally said: Alright, I tell you what. I will take all
your Applications, keep in the Safety Box but please note that we WILL NOT
process it, ok?

They have heart after all :) We nodded eagerly.

My turn.

B scrutinized at my Application and said: Your photo is too
small.

Me: Too small? I have other size (Of course, I went prepared
too).

I purposely fished out my largest photo out of my collection of photos.

B passed form and photos to W.

Me: Can I have back the other photograph which you are rejecting?
W looked at B and snapped at him: This is of course too big. We can't accept.
B kept quiet.
W then looked at me: This photo is too big and the other one is too small, but I think it should be ok.

Satisfied with my intention of a little 'revenge', I submitted my medium photo to W.
To this he said: This is perfect.

Us: Can we have your fax number please?
(This time I will not ask who should I look for when I call)
W: It is 6880... You will see it in the form later. Now, S$70 please.
Us: Huh?
W: Payment, you have to make payment for the Visa? 3 persons,
total S$210. Thank you.

... the one who finally left the the F Embassy 1.5 hours later.